Most Eligible 2015

Brendan Kirby

Co-host, The Rhode Show

Providence Monthly Magazine ·

Age: 33
From: Warren, RI
Currently lives: Riverside, RI

Ok, so tell us about what makes you eligible. What are your interests/hobbies/quirks? What would people be surprised to know about you?
I'm not sure anything makes me eligible. The fact that I was asked to participate in this makes me think there's been some type of terrible error. The dating scene in Providence is clearly fractured if I'm considered one of its most eligible singles. All kidding aside, I feel I have a good sense of humor and that I converse well with others in person. I'm generally interested in the stories and backgrounds of individuals so I'm a good listener as well. Oh and I floss and brush my teeth daily...

As for hobbies, I love music. I joke regularly that I'm an incredible triangle and cello player but in reality, I do enjoy playing guitar. I'm hardly great at it and, although I’d love to, I'm not looking to form a Metallica tribute band any time soon but it's fun to mess around with the strings and it can be very relaxing...when I'm not meditating. I enjoy sports as well. Nothing gets me fired up more than setting the roster on my fantasy badminton team...

Quirks? It's tough for me to go five minutes without laughing or making a joke. I love humor and laughter, probably on an unhealthy level. Those that know me are aware of my obsession with all things Seinfeld-related as well; we could do a separate interview on that topic alone. I apologize now for my pathetic attempts at humor that have and will continue to surface throughout this sure to be Pulitzer Prize winning interview.

What are you looking for in an ideal mate? What about an ideal first date?
Alive and female are my two most important criteria. Obviously, it's nice to be with someone with whom you share similar interests. Someday I hope to meet a girl who is as passionate about collecting vintage shoehorns as I am. In all seriousness, just someone that I am attracted to and that I get along with easily. You should put work into making a relationship great, but I shouldn't feel like work; and it doesn't when the person is just right for you. You want to do all the right and special things for them and they make it easy.

A nice ideal first date is always something creative. No, I'm not going to some rave in some warehouse by a dock, but I do like to mix it up. Dinner and/or drinks or a coffee can be fun because they’re a good way to get to know someone but it's good to think differently. Show the other person you care by being in tune with who they are and taking them some place new or off the beaten path. How do you do this? By asking questions, of course. Quick, somebody get me my own column...

What's your perfect weekend? Where can we find you in your downtime?
As much as I love to travel or be busy, a great weekend is one where i have very few commitments. Just being able to get things done that have been piling up or to have the freedom to meet up with friends - or work on my shoehorn collection - is really the best.

Let's talk about dating in Providence. What's your take on the singles scene here?
It's reflective of Rhode Island. Everyone seems to somehow know each other and that can be a good or bad thing but sometimes it feels too small. There are lots of cool, fun, affable people around but there's something nice about a degree of anonymity. I lived in Los Angeles for about a year and half before returning to RI for The Rhode Show position. Although I LOVE Rhode Island and Providence, there was something freeing about seemingly not knowing everyone or just being able to blend in a bit. It depends on who you are though. Some enjoy few degrees of separation, some do not. If you like that small town feel, then I guess Providence is ideal for you when it comes to dating.

Every single one of your married friends has probably recommended online dating. Have you tried it? How do you feel about matchmaking sites? Tinder?
I have in the past and I had a few nice dates as a result of a few of the services. Online dating can be a terrific way to help you find someone but you have to be careful, of course. Communicating online is a good way to get the ball rolling but I still prefer face to face interaction; it's really the only way you'll know if you click or if you realize you're seated across from someone you never want to see again in your life; it's happened to all of us. For those who have a hard time approaching someone cold, I'd definitely recommend cautious online dating. It can't hurt to give it a try; but if you meet someone crazy, don't blame it on me....

Overall I'm not opposed to these new methods. Obviously technology has changed the way we all live and if you can use it to your benefit, then great. Tinder sounds intriguing but also a bit odd. I have a feeling if I ever met anyone from it, they'd roll up in some type of conversion van and I'm convinced the experience would end with head scratching and a pile of regret...

Do you have any really funny dating stories?
I do but my lawyer has advised me not to share them in print...

Anything else you'd like people to know?
I enjoy kidding around because I feel laughter and humor are essential ingredients to life. It's quite easy to get stressed out about work, family life, dating, whatever, but a good laugh or chuckle - either intentional or unintentional - can really help to diffuse any situation especially when dating.

Honestly, I don't really worry or think about dating or meeting the right person all that often. If you're open to meeting new people, you'll most likely eventually find someone that is right for you. The best things usually happen when you're least expecting them to. So be open to everything. If you're single, be happy because it represents an open horizon of possibilities and experiences; the not knowing can be uplifting and powerful but also a bit frightening for some, I know. Just embrace it. I can't believe what I just said. I think I may now have a career in writing fortune cookies or a new Bon Jovi song...

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